Mike - The Sample
Mike, I understood you perfectly well. Congratulations!
Since you say you want to sound American, here's a hint about a sound that's often difficult for non-native speakers to achieve: In words such as "other" (which was in your sample), "bus", "luck", etc., don't open your mouth too wide. That results in a vowel that's too close to "a". Instead, just let your jaw relax and drop open -- don't actively make it open.
This sound is called "shwa", right? The words like "love", "bus", "fun" have it, huh?
How's my "band"? And what about rhyme and intonation?
And by the way, how do you pronounce the words like "hit", "bit", etc
is it close "het", "bet"? and what about "baby"? is "y" close to "e" too?
Lemme have a go a this...
Your rythem is pretty good, i think the main area to work on is stress