Read my reference, please

Hi,

I am Bettina from Germany and I start my working holidays in australia in a fortnight.

I wrote a reference and it woud be nice if a native speaker could read my reference to control verbalism and grammar.

Thanks Bettina

address emblem



27/03/2008

To Whom It May Concern:

Reference for Ms Bettina Schulze

The Jugendverein Neuengoenna eV. is a non- profit organization. We do a lot of culture activities for and with our young people and we do some charitable work for our village. Bettina Schulze joined the Jugendverein Neuengoenna eV. in January 2003 and left us in January 2008.

She has proved to be one of the most active and reliable members of our club. Bettina is very well-liked by the club members and the other villagers.

She was imaginative and observant in planning our projects. In the projects we managed, Bettina did her work professionally and efficiently. She worked with money and proved that she is honest. Bettina is personable and able to work both independently and as part of a team.

Her contribution to all areas of club activity in which she was involved has been much appreciated.

I believe that Bettina will make a valuable addition to any organization that she may join. We deeply regret her decision to move on and I recommend her without hesitation.

I would gladly answer any request for further information.

Sincerely,

Karsten Braungart
Committee Member

A little "good" or "bad"?

Bettina, it's very good overall. In your first line, you might substitute "cultural" for "culture," to make it a modifier. In the third paragraph, the normal American English usage would be "handled money." (Harks back to "handeln" in German.) However, normally, in the States, honesty in handling money would be presumed, or there wouldn't be a recommendation given in the first place. My advice would be to eliminate that sentence and insert "honestly" in the previous sentence, i.e. "did her work honestly, professionally and efficiently." Just my take on it. Overall, a very good job. I take it that your former boss is allowing you to write the recommendation for him? :D BTW, this is from an American perspective, not an Australian...