Ways to annoy your English teacher.

1. I’m told that questions begin with a question word. They do? They begin with what?

2. If words behave according to what they mean, then why is seem a verb, probably an adverb and likely an adjective (a likely winner) And aren’t words that have an –ly suffix supposed to be adverbs?

3. Is ending a sentence with a preposition something up with which you will not put?
Something with which you up will not put?
Something with which you will not up put?

4. What is the part-of-speech of such in He’s such a good quarterback?
If you get an answer, try asking about so in so good a dancer.
Then ask what good is doing before a.

5. How come in That is too hard a question the adjective comes before the word a, and what is the part-of-speech of too? Why can’t you say That is hard a question?

6. Isn’t it weird, “I” before “e” except after c?

7. Are color words nouns or adjectives?
If they answer noun, ask why you can say slightly red because adverbs don’t go with nouns?
And why can you say too red but not too house?
And why can you add –er to make redder, but not houser?
If they say adjective, then why can’t you say redly? )

8. If you can whiten, blacken, or redden something why can’t you bluen, yellowen or purplen it?

9. What’s up with half? Why do we say Half a loaf is better than none?
Or is it half of a loaf? We can’t say Third a loaf is better than none.
Or third of a loaf. We have to say a third of a loaf.
Is a half dozen eggs exactly the same as a half of a dozen eggs?
And how come no two halves a loaf, only two halves of a loaf

If you can say 'It won't take long', why can't you say 'It will take long'. Instead you have to say 'It will take a long time'.

<<I’m told that questions begin with a question word. They do? They begin with what?
>>

you tell me--
you just asked two very good questions above <They do? They begin with what?>--do either begin with a "question word"?

Overusage of contractions are often to be avoided. I hardly use any in my school papers.

So saying "I shouldn't've done that." will get you a red ink marked on that.

Oh, same thing with the word "get". It's highly informal in most cases.

"I don't get it". can be easily written as "I do not understand."

<<1. I’m told that questions begin with a question word. They do? They begin with what?>>

If somebody taught that questions *had* to begin with a question word, that would definitely be a mistake.

<<2. If words behave according to what they mean, then why is seem a verb, probably an adverb and likely an adjective (a likely winner) And aren’t words that have an –ly suffix supposed to be adverbs?>>

I think this touches on something that I've read about on Language Log ( http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=282 ): the problems that can result from the Semantic Essence theory, which tells us that "a noun is a person, place or thing" and that "verbs are action words".

<<3. Is ending a sentence with a preposition something up with which you will not put?
Something with which you up will not put?
Something with which you will not up put?>>

If somebody says that phrasal verbs are incorrect because they can result in prepositions at the ends of sentences, then they just don't understand English syntax.

<<4. What is the part-of-speech of such in He’s such a good quarterback?
If you get an answer, try asking about so in so good a dancer.
Then ask what good is doing before a.>>

Both of those are adverbs.

<<5. How come in That is too hard a question the adjective comes before the word a, and what is the part-of-speech of too? Why can’t you say That is hard a question?>>

"Too" would be an adverb here.

As for the inversion, it just seems that some adverbs like "too", "such" and "so" require this kind of inversion (and you can't say "This is a too hard question" either).

<<7. Are color words nouns or adjectives?
If they answer noun, ask why you can say slightly red because adverbs don’t go with nouns?
And why can you say too red but not too house?
And why can you add –er to make redder, but not houser?
If they say adjective, then why can’t you say redly?>>

The proper answer would be, they can be either nouns or adjectives.

<<8. If you can whiten, blacken, or redden something why can’t you bluen, yellowen or purplen it?>>

Just the quirks of etymological history.

<<So saying "I shouldn't've done that.">>

Well I don't think things like "shouldn't've" or "should've" are justified as written forms, because it's already established that "have" has a reduced form [@v] (as in, say, "Should he have done it?").

How come it's acceptable to write, I've, you've, we've, they've, but not should've or shouldn't've? Seems kind of an arbitrary rule to me.

Not at all: in those cases, "have" has been reduced to a single non-syllabic phoneme /v/. There is a phonemic difference between:

I've done it. /aIv "dVn It/

And:

I have done it. /aI @v "dVn It/

The second one is pronounced with "have" as a separate (though unstressed) syllable, with the /{/ reduced to a schwa.

But in cases like "should've" and "shouldn't've", people aren't pronouncing the "have" as a non-syllabic /v/ - that's impossible in English phonology. They're just using the reduced form /@v/, which is already implied in most cases when "have" is written. There's no phonemic difference between:

"I should've done it." /aI %SUd @v "dVn It/

And:

"I should have done it." /aI %sUd @v "dVn It/

The uncontracted verb "have" already implies a reduced form in most (unstressed) positions, just like the verbs "can", "am", "are", which when not contracted are usually pronounced /kn/, /@m/, /@`/. (These verbs are only contracted in cases like "I'm", "they're", where the verb is reduced to a totally non-syllabic form.) So there's no more reason to write "shouldn't've" than to write, say, "My friends're coming."

To me, "I have done it." is /aI h{v dVn It/.

Well it depends on how you stress it, but most of the time most English speakers would pronounce "have" as [@v] there.

I'd say it depends on your accent. Btw, doesn't 've function like the 'ed' past tense inflection in that the vowel gets reduced to a single non-syllabic phoneme after vowelic sounds (don't know the correct term) and a schwa after consonantic sounds.

To Guest:

If you put all this questions to your English teacher fluently and without crib, I believe she/he will be only glad, that you master English to such an extent irrespectively how stupid your questions are

Another way to annoy your English teacher is throwing pencils into the ceiling.

The teacher would be extremely "On or red" that you had perfected your grammar.