someone younger than me called me by this and i was offended..
but he didnt seem to think anything was wrong about that.
wasnt it rude?
but he didnt seem to think anything was wrong about that.
wasnt it rude?
sweetheart
It's not rude unless it was intended to be, and you would have known that by tone of voice. Otherwise it is normally just a generic term of address, like "dear" or "hon(ey)". (Or I guess if you are British, "love" or "mate".) It can be considered a little patronizing if used in an inappropriate context, but it's not rude in and of itself.
If you are in the US, we make fewer distinctions between generations in our styles of address than other cultures. Ma'am and sir are usually the only ones that might have age connotations, and they even they can also be used merely to be polite in any professional context, regardless of age difference. If you are from one of those other cultures, or are an old-fashioned American, that level of informality may take some getting used to. On the other hand, when I took Spanish and French in high school, it boggled my mind that you would actually have to change verbs and pronouns to speak to someone older than you, so there you go!
If you are in the US, we make fewer distinctions between generations in our styles of address than other cultures. Ma'am and sir are usually the only ones that might have age connotations, and they even they can also be used merely to be polite in any professional context, regardless of age difference. If you are from one of those other cultures, or are an old-fashioned American, that level of informality may take some getting used to. On the other hand, when I took Spanish and French in high school, it boggled my mind that you would actually have to change verbs and pronouns to speak to someone older than you, so there you go!
"Sweetheart" is used here in the UK as some kind of word of endearment but in a very casual sense, and speaking personally I have only really encountered it from mature ladies, like the one behind the servery at the college refectory at uni....a really lovely elderly lady dishing out the nosh on to your plates....she had a broad Yorkshire accent (this was Leeds after all) but instead of using the universal "luv" (Yorkshire for love - pronounced in the exact Yorkshire way) and she addressed us all as "sweetheart", irrespective of gender.
"D'yer want gravy on this, sweetheart?" or "Chips or mash, sweetheart?" Sometimes she would be on the puddings section (or sweets or desserts depending on what word you normally use for the "afters" bit of a meal) and as you wait with your tray in your hands she would say things like: "Custard or ice cream, sweetheart?" or if you were a bit late in the lunch line up she would say: "Sorry, sweetheart! - the apple crumble has all gone - but the apricot tart is very nice...how about that instead, sweetheart?" "Aye, that'll do nicely, luv!" I would be tempted to say back to her, emulating her Yorkshire accent which was every bit as scrumptious as the dollop of steak and kidney pie she would slap onto your plate.
That lady really though she was the mother to all of us students! What a wee sweetheart she was, or still is, I fervently hope.
I think it's very rare for someone to call an older person "sweetheart", and I don't think I have ever heard a guy address another guy that way either. No way could I call another guy "sweetheart" even though I am 100% gay myself. No doubt it does happen in which case I would think it would be in the case of an older gay male addressing a younger gay male as "sweetheart" , and most probably in a camp, feminine way, and by no means is that the norm for gay men generally....far from it in the "real word" outside of TV and media stereotyping.
In my experiene so far it's been mostly women much older than me who have called called me "sweetheart".
"D'yer want gravy on this, sweetheart?" or "Chips or mash, sweetheart?" Sometimes she would be on the puddings section (or sweets or desserts depending on what word you normally use for the "afters" bit of a meal) and as you wait with your tray in your hands she would say things like: "Custard or ice cream, sweetheart?" or if you were a bit late in the lunch line up she would say: "Sorry, sweetheart! - the apple crumble has all gone - but the apricot tart is very nice...how about that instead, sweetheart?" "Aye, that'll do nicely, luv!" I would be tempted to say back to her, emulating her Yorkshire accent which was every bit as scrumptious as the dollop of steak and kidney pie she would slap onto your plate.
That lady really though she was the mother to all of us students! What a wee sweetheart she was, or still is, I fervently hope.
I think it's very rare for someone to call an older person "sweetheart", and I don't think I have ever heard a guy address another guy that way either. No way could I call another guy "sweetheart" even though I am 100% gay myself. No doubt it does happen in which case I would think it would be in the case of an older gay male addressing a younger gay male as "sweetheart" , and most probably in a camp, feminine way, and by no means is that the norm for gay men generally....far from it in the "real word" outside of TV and media stereotyping.
In my experiene so far it's been mostly women much older than me who have called called me "sweetheart".