My Writing Style

Jasper   Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:37 pm GMT
Like most of the Antimooners, one of the main reasons I visit this forum is to learn. In this respect, I would greatly appreciate some feedback from the visitors to this forum.

In brief, what do you think about my writing style? I don't want any of you to worry about hurting my feelings (like an American), I want the honest truth so that I can work on the things that need improvement.

In particular, I'd like to hear from KT, Uriel, and Damian, although of course all participants are welcome.
Guest   Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:01 pm GMT
In my opinion Damian writes superb English. I don't think an American like you will match his level. You have to learn a lot from him.
@Jasper   Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:03 pm GMT
It is probably better for us to point up anomalies as they occur.
@Guest   Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:06 pm GMT
What are your criteria, Guest? Which works of literature, for you, encapsulate superb English?
Jasper   Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:35 pm GMT
Guest: " I don't think an American like you will match his level."

Guest, I was not looking for anti-Americanism. Your statement tends to suggest that only people who're born in the UK are capable of good writing, which is a conclusion I most vigorously dispute.

Rather, I was looking for specific pointers on how to improve my writing.
Jasper   Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:58 pm GMT
Guest, your post was too subjective, anyway. While I respect Damian's writing as much as you do, some of the other posters have suggested that his prose is too wordy, to the point of floridity, for their taste—a conclusion with which I don't agree: I look forward to reading Damian's posts.

All of us have different writing styles. My correspondent Travis writes most often in Academic Regalian—a "dialect" that is seen as expert, if overly formal to some tastes. KT's prose is both brief and concise (not exactly the same thing). Uriel writes in sentences alternately wordy and pithy, with a strong emotional underpinning. My own style is inconsistent, which is the issue that concerns me the most.

So that leaves us with the original question: what do I need to do to improve my writing? Fewer semi-colons? More consistent tenses? Longer sentences? Shorter ones?

I await honest answers.
@Jasper   Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:23 pm GMT
For example, look at your first paragraph:

‹While I respect Damian's writing as much as you do, some of the other posters have suggested that his prose is too wordy, to the point of floridity, for their taste—a conclusion with which I don't agree: I look forward to reading Damian's posts.›

A. concession
B. objection
C. reply to objection

Since A = C, the concession is pointless and leads the reader up the garden path.
Jasper   Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:41 pm GMT
Thank you, @Jasper—that's exactly what I was looking for.

What do you mean by leading the reader up the garden path? Am I confusing the reader?
Jasper   Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:59 pm GMT
@Guest: I Googled "reader up the garden path", not expecting to find anything, but I did. And now I see your point.

Would it have been better to leave out the "reply to objection"? The point that I wanted to convey is that while I, personally, love reading Damian's posts, other posters have mentioned that his prose is too wordy.

Continuing on in this vein of thought, do you see the tendency to "lead the reader up the garden path" a lot in my writing?

I want to thank you a thousand times for your insight.
blanc   Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:20 am GMT
Jasper's writing seems to me to be normal, educated writing. It seems pretty standard and nothing jumps out when I read it.

Damian on the other hand writes in a very distinct way, and it is obvious he's from somewhere in Britain because he uses a lot of odd words and colloquialisms. I think it even seems a little exaggerated, as though he is purposefully using these expressions to underline his nationality, because I know of no other Brits who speak like that. (note: I said SEEMS, so I'm not implying he actually does do this, but that is just my ignorant first impression).
boyntonville bumpkin   Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:42 am GMT
What's your goal when writing? Is it just to communicate without attracting any attention to the style, or do you want your readers to notice the style as well as the message?
crablegs   Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:58 pm GMT
@Jasper

Damian writes like a lady, Travis writes like a nimrod who thinks he's smart. You seem to write like an ordinary guy though.
blanc   Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:05 pm GMT
crablegs, you write like a maroon!
crablegs   Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:07 pm GMT
blanc, you write like a moron!
racoon   Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:41 pm GMT
blanc and crablegs, you both behave like a baboon!