Why would a native speaker say this?

I heard a native speaker say "I does the shopping. You does the cooking"

Shouldn't it be or "I do the shopping, you do the cooking" or "I am shopping. You are cooking"?

You are correct.

The others are intentional errors used for effect.

<<The others are intentional errors used for effect.>>

...cont.

HOPEFULLY

That has been coined a "twirk"; a twirk is a deliberate misspelling, or grammatical error, made to draw attention.

It all started in the '60s with the hippies, who noticed that people listened to them a whole lot more, when their sentences were peppered with profanities.

Sometimes, whole books are written with literary twirks; the book "A Color Purple" might serve as one example.

<<Sometimes, whole books are written with literary twirks; the book "A Color Purple" might serve as one example. >>

I wouldn't call those twirks. Those are representations of how English was actually spoken (misspoken) by poor southerners in that era.

<<I heard a native speaker say "I does the shopping. You does the cooking">>

It depends on how the speaker meant it.

I can picture it this way: as an allusion to the novel/movie Gone with the Wind, where the maid would say this. The native speaker was probably using this reference for comic/theatrical effect, almost playing the part of the maid.

similar to one saying: "Is you is, or is you ain't...?"

I've also heard people saying "I are" or "I aren't" quite normally, in a sentence...
Is that acceptable/ correct?

I aren't/...aren't I? *is* acceptable always, however, "ain't" is gaining ground on this prescriptionist form

the other: I are, unless done on purpose for effect, is incorrect

"I aren't" isn't acceptable unless it's for effect (and the only effect I can imagine in this case is a humorous one); the correct grammar is "I'm not". The inverted form "Aren't I?" *is* perfectly acceptable and very common, though, because "Amn't I?" sounds hopelessly awkward to most speakers (although I heard it's used somewhere... Ireland, maybe?)

- Kef

Re: "I does the shopping. You does the cooking."
"Is you is, or is you ain't...?"
"Where you ats?"

These could all be examples of "Ebonics" ("ebony" + phonics"),
also known as "African American Vernacular English".

There was actually a course on this in Berkeley, California, USA (Cal State Berkeley).

Also, some southerners (USA) talk this way regardless of race or color.

"You is " . Is it ebonics as well?

I always think the English language has a crazy pronunciation in many aspects.

Mist rhymes with list but doesn't with Christ. Why is it so?

If Christ has long i sound, then why isn't it in Christmas?
I don't think compound words change the real sounds.

The word Christmas is completely made wrong, because Christ mass should be.

"CRISMES" WOULD SEEM UNFAMILIAR IN THE ETYMOLOGY FOR THE REFORMED SPELLING.

<<The inverted form "Aren't I?" *is* perfectly acceptable and very common, though, because "Amn't I?" sounds hopelessly awkward to most speakers>>

Oh, didn't know about that. I thought "Am I not?" would be the (grammatically) correct way of saying it. Maybe both are OK?