British sense of time vs. American

<<Many Chinese admire the Germans (and particularly WWII Germans, I don't know why) >>

LOL. Maybe because China is a communist country and Nazism is not that different.

Jasper, it must've taken pains to right down all these details about Janie, and Damian, and other people. I'm impressed. Actually, the idea was clear from the very beginning.

> I don't know what they do in Russia, but I believe similar long-range planning must be necessary
I don't know either, but somehow we do.
Moreover, in the original massage Rebecca also wrote about weekend plans which are shared by the same city citizens. Even if they don't have make a long trip to the place of event, Americans prefer having a definite plans for a weekend far in advance as she said. You see, there should be something else than just travelling long distances.

Mary, I see your point.

Mutually agreed-on plans among friends in the same city might, indeed, be planned on the spur-of-the-moment in America--a dinner date, a night at the theatre, etc.

Something "big"--like a wedding, graduation, etc., would almost certainly be planned months in advance. I firmly maintain that this is done so that people from far away can attend the event.

Apropos Russia, one thing to remember is that vast parts of the country are very sparsely settled--if at all. I think it reasonable to suppose, however, that when a family wedding is planned, and relatives from far away are invited, a significant time frame is allowed.

"They don't usually call me a few days in advance (generally I like to think in the states that we like to plan as far ahead in advance as possible) yet they never call me, I always call them to set the specifics for the weekend. "
Maybe they dont like you, british people are very hypocrite, they say yes and mean no. Germans and Japanese are very organised - but they are regarded as very dull and boring people with no sense of humour. Americans are not very organised but they like to plan things in advance.

Europeans love spontaneity, to surprise and be surprised, and are very active people, they live the moment CARPE DIEM and enjoy the ART DE VIVRE. I call my friends to spontaneously organise many events or visit my friends without a phone call, I JUST KNOCK AT HIS/HER DOOR. I personally detest the anglo-saxon way of life its so cold, reserved, hypocritical, rigid and soulless.

You see, that is why the LATIN LOVERS are good lovers (see French, Italian, Latin people in general) They are spontaneous, surprising, passionate and never planing...

" I call my friends to spontaneously organise many events or visit my friends without a phone call, I JUST KNOCK AT HIS/HER DOOR"

With all due respect, Jerome, that is one of the WORST CONCEIVABLE breaches of etiquette you could commit. Do you have any idea of what you're walking in to? You could be interrupting a dinner for four, an ugly quarrel, a house that's uncharacteristically messy, or the couple could be making love.

To be fair, this rule of etiquette applies to only Americans, but I think the British and Germans observe it, too.

"You see, that is why the LATIN LOVERS are good lovers (see French, Italian, Latin people in general) They are spontaneous, surprising, passionate and never planing..."

Actually, Jerome----I struggle to put this diplomatically, but according to women I have known, Latinos are the absolute worst lovers. Don't ask me to go into detail; it would stray far from the spirit of this forum. Suffice it to say that "machismo" is important in the Latin cultures; what the woman is feeling in any kind of interaction is deemed unimportant.

My friend's family usually discuss in my pressence, they don't care at all because there is confidence enough . I don't organize events with my friends either, I just go to his house and knock the door. Telephone is so impersonal! I avoid it as much I can.

"Actually, Jerome----I struggle to put this diplomatically, but according to women I have known, Latinos are the absolute worst lovers. "

the french and italians are not "latinos" they are european, and americans are well known as the most arrogant and ignorant people on earth.

<<Suffice it to say that "machismo" is important in the Latin cultures; what the woman is feeling in any kind of interaction is deemed unimportan >>

American ignorance at its best. I belong to a so called Latin country and you can see evident Matriarchal traits. It's the opposite to Machism. For example in my family it's normal that women administrate money. Men only work for a salary and obey but at home women rule.

"My friend's family usually discuss in my pressence, they don't care at all because there is confidence enough . I don't organize events with my friends either, I just go to his house and knock the door."

What if they're already entertaining? The hostess might be serving steaks for four people, but because you've "dropped in" unannounced, they'll feel compelled to ask if you want something to eat. But she only has four steaks! Your rudeness would cause somebody to have to go without food.

Or supposing they have a prior engagement? This happened to me once. Some friends, with whom I'd arranged to meet at a local restaurant at 6:00pm, were uncharacteristically late. It turned out that Jennifer--their Filipino daughter-in-law--had "dropped in" right before they were to leave the house; it took quite a bit of time to get rid of her.

I once had a Chinese-American friend--a genuinely nice, caring guy--who just couldn't stop "dropping in", even after he was gently asked to call first. It cost us our friendship.

I find that oftentimes people who just "drop in" unannounced don't realize how selfish and insensitive they're being, because they're forgetting the feelings of their hosts.

"the french and italians are not "latinos" they are european, ...." Quite so; that was a slip of the pen.

However, consider the original posters exact words, to wit:

"You see, that is why the LATIN LOVERS are good lovers (see French, Italian, Latin people in general)"

My point is that there are MANY of the ladyfolk who would not agree with this statement! Many, indeed!

You don't understand. If someone just drops by unannounced and you're busy you just tell them you're busy and they leave unoffended.

It's completely natural. There's no need to offer them food because they see at once you're busy and that's that. They will tell you the same when you drop by.

<<<As for Asian cultures, that depends upon just which Asian culture you are talking about; such really does not seem applicable at all to the Japanese, for instance.>>

Quite so; I'd forgotten the Japanese, who're as anal as we are about such things. :-) >

I'm 49 days short of a year in Japan and I can assure you, they are pretty anal about everything. Lets just take it as given that they're anal and not mention it again! I come to sites like this to escape Japanese stuff, not be reminded of any!

"Please respect the forum rules and take the off-topic nationalistic mudslinging elsewhere."

Starting with the LatinLovers comment, the thread started to veer into alternate directions. I apologize for my part in it.

"You don't understand. If someone just drops by unannounced and you're busy you just tell them you're busy and they leave unoffended.

It's completely natural. There's no need to offer them food because they see at once you're busy and that's that. They will tell you the same when you drop by."

I see, Guest. This does make some sense. It appears that difference in customs is quite complex; it'd be considered rude not to offer your guest some of the food, for example, and refusing the guest admittance has to be handled very delicately so as not to offend.

Let me ask you this: traipsing all the way across town--30 minutes or more--and being told that "we're too busy"---isn't that doing things the hard way?

It seems infinitely easier just to pick up the phone, and ask if a visit is convenient--don't you think?

(Moderator: I hope this post is acceptable)