From his rear depository. He has plenty of inventory.
English People...
This form is just another piece of the draconian legislation this country has in order to stop the Brits from living in Dublin.
I for one have campaigned for the right of the English to live in Dublin and thus stop you from going to any decent place in Ireland and wrecking it which is what you lot usually do. Scots and Welsh are welcome but English need not apply.
"APPLICATION TO LIVE WITHIN
THE
CITY OR COUNTY
OF
Dublin
(Including Fingal)
Anyone not born within the City and County of Dublin will now be required to cmplete the attached application form and return it to:
The Immigration and Population Control Officer
(Culchie Section)
Dublin Corporation Offices
Wood Quay
Dublin 2.
within 21 days of arriving in the City or County of Dublin
Application to live in the City or County of Dublin.
(Including Fingal)
Name:__________________________
Nickname : (what your friends call you ) __________________________
Address : ( herd number ) _________________________
Father: ( otherwise known as Daddy ) ____________________________
( If you don't know your Daddy, list three suspects )
Mother: _____________________________
Neck Shade: Light Red Medium Red Dark Red
Do You own you own teeth ? Yes No
If borrowed, please state from whom. ________________________
Number of Teeth in Full Grin: Upper: _____ Lower: _____
Length of Right Leg: ____ Length of Left Leg: ____
How many wellies do you own ? ______ (pairs)
Size of Farm:
(please tick)
Middlin' Smallish Bit of a Field Only A Bog
Make of your Tractor: ________________ Weight of Your Tractor: ___________
Tractor Equipped With (please tick) : Gun Rack 4 Wheel Drive Cassette Deck Load of Turf Ford Cortina Shock Absorbers Truck Wheels Sawdoctor's CDs Mud Flaps
Toothpick Holder Big Dog Goat's Hide
Number of empty Beer Cans on floor of your tractor: _________
BUMPER STICKERS SHOWN :
(please tick)
"Well Holy God" Me Other Car Is A Piece of SHITE Too If you're not from Cavan, you're not worth a shite Mayo for Sam Honk if you love Glenroe Supermacs
FAVOURITE VOCALIST:
(please tick)
Margo Big Tom Loretta Lynn Hank Williams Brendan Shine Garth Brooks Tammy Wynette Declan Nerney Daniel O' Donnell Meself What's A Vocalist?
FAVOURITE RECREATION:
(please tick)
Line Dancin' Sheep Shaggin' Slurry Smellin' Bailin' Hay Dole Signin' Drinkin' Chewin' Tabacca Belchin' Spittin' Other
Name(s) of Daughter(s) :
(please tick)
Mary Biddy Bridie Udder
Weapons Owned :
(please tick)
Shovel Power or Chain Saw Pick Handle Slash Hook Hurley Other
Cap Emblem:
(please tick)
Guinness Smithwicks Massey Ferguson Net Nitrate 10-10-20 Kerry Co-Op
Smile if you're wearin' wellies
Number of Dependants : Legal ___ Claimed ___
Number of Welfare Cheques Claimed ____
Number of Weeks Unemployed: ______ (REALLY ____ )
Membership Of:
(please tick)
GAA IFA Macra ICA Youth Defence Fine Gael
Car Model:
(please tick)
Ford Cortina Ford Escort MK1 Ford Escort MK2 Fiat Ritmo VW Jetta Humber Honda 50
How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your yard ? _____
Are you married to any of the following :
(please tick)
Sister Brother Cousin Cow
Does your wife weigh more than your tractor ? Yes No
Can you write your name and get the spelling right every time ? Yes No
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend ? ________ If Yes, Why ? __________
Can you count to :
(please tick)
Ten with your shoes on Twenty-one with your fly closed
Medical History:
B.O. Bovine T.B. Smelly Feet Runny Nose Bad Breath Head Lice Sheep Lice
Foot & Mouth Disease
Please give the same information in respect to yourself.
THANK YOU FOR FILLING IN THIS FORM
We Will Let You Know If Ewe Can Stay Next Week."
I for one have campaigned for the right of the English to live in Dublin and thus stop you from going to any decent place in Ireland and wrecking it which is what you lot usually do. Scots and Welsh are welcome but English need not apply.
"APPLICATION TO LIVE WITHIN
THE
CITY OR COUNTY
OF
Dublin
(Including Fingal)
Anyone not born within the City and County of Dublin will now be required to cmplete the attached application form and return it to:
The Immigration and Population Control Officer
(Culchie Section)
Dublin Corporation Offices
Wood Quay
Dublin 2.
within 21 days of arriving in the City or County of Dublin
Application to live in the City or County of Dublin.
(Including Fingal)
Name:__________________________
Nickname : (what your friends call you ) __________________________
Address : ( herd number ) _________________________
Father: ( otherwise known as Daddy ) ____________________________
( If you don't know your Daddy, list three suspects )
Mother: _____________________________
Neck Shade: Light Red Medium Red Dark Red
Do You own you own teeth ? Yes No
If borrowed, please state from whom. ________________________
Number of Teeth in Full Grin: Upper: _____ Lower: _____
Length of Right Leg: ____ Length of Left Leg: ____
How many wellies do you own ? ______ (pairs)
Size of Farm:
(please tick)
Middlin' Smallish Bit of a Field Only A Bog
Make of your Tractor: ________________ Weight of Your Tractor: ___________
Tractor Equipped With (please tick) : Gun Rack 4 Wheel Drive Cassette Deck Load of Turf Ford Cortina Shock Absorbers Truck Wheels Sawdoctor's CDs Mud Flaps
Toothpick Holder Big Dog Goat's Hide
Number of empty Beer Cans on floor of your tractor: _________
BUMPER STICKERS SHOWN :
(please tick)
"Well Holy God" Me Other Car Is A Piece of SHITE Too If you're not from Cavan, you're not worth a shite Mayo for Sam Honk if you love Glenroe Supermacs
FAVOURITE VOCALIST:
(please tick)
Margo Big Tom Loretta Lynn Hank Williams Brendan Shine Garth Brooks Tammy Wynette Declan Nerney Daniel O' Donnell Meself What's A Vocalist?
FAVOURITE RECREATION:
(please tick)
Line Dancin' Sheep Shaggin' Slurry Smellin' Bailin' Hay Dole Signin' Drinkin' Chewin' Tabacca Belchin' Spittin' Other
Name(s) of Daughter(s) :
(please tick)
Mary Biddy Bridie Udder
Weapons Owned :
(please tick)
Shovel Power or Chain Saw Pick Handle Slash Hook Hurley Other
Cap Emblem:
(please tick)
Guinness Smithwicks Massey Ferguson Net Nitrate 10-10-20 Kerry Co-Op
Smile if you're wearin' wellies
Number of Dependants : Legal ___ Claimed ___
Number of Welfare Cheques Claimed ____
Number of Weeks Unemployed: ______ (REALLY ____ )
Membership Of:
(please tick)
GAA IFA Macra ICA Youth Defence Fine Gael
Car Model:
(please tick)
Ford Cortina Ford Escort MK1 Ford Escort MK2 Fiat Ritmo VW Jetta Humber Honda 50
How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your yard ? _____
Are you married to any of the following :
(please tick)
Sister Brother Cousin Cow
Does your wife weigh more than your tractor ? Yes No
Can you write your name and get the spelling right every time ? Yes No
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend ? ________ If Yes, Why ? __________
Can you count to :
(please tick)
Ten with your shoes on Twenty-one with your fly closed
Medical History:
B.O. Bovine T.B. Smelly Feet Runny Nose Bad Breath Head Lice Sheep Lice
Foot & Mouth Disease
Please give the same information in respect to yourself.
THANK YOU FOR FILLING IN THIS FORM
We Will Let You Know If Ewe Can Stay Next Week."
<<true story......
An English MP was addressing a crowd in Belfast. He stated to the masses "I was born an Englishman, I've lived an Englishman, and by God I shall die an Englishman!" Then, from the back of the crowd, a voice yelled "Shite
man, have ye no ambition?" >>
True story???? You've got to be kidding. Maybe in about 1800.
An English MP was addressing a crowd in Belfast. He stated to the masses "I was born an Englishman, I've lived an Englishman, and by God I shall die an Englishman!" Then, from the back of the crowd, a voice yelled "Shite
man, have ye no ambition?" >>
True story???? You've got to be kidding. Maybe in about 1800.
"True story???? You've got to be kidding. Maybe in about 1800."
Why should it be from around 1800?
Why should it be from around 1800?
There were these two cats...one was English, and called One Two Three. The other was French, and called Un Deux Trois. They both liked to swim (unusual cats but there you go) and one day they both decided to see who could swim over to the Isle of Skye in the shortest time. One Two Three won because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq......
Childish(I'm one to talk) but funny, Damian.
An Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer were sitting together in a carriage in a train. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carraiges and it went completely dark.
Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Englishman was thinking, "The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead."
Claudia Schiffer was thinking, "The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it."
And the Irishman was thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English bastard again."
An Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer were sitting together in a carriage in a train. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carraiges and it went completely dark.
Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Englishman was thinking, "The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead."
Claudia Schiffer was thinking, "The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it."
And the Irishman was thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English bastard again."
<<"True story???? You've got to be kidding. Maybe in about 1800."
Why should it be from around 1800? >>
Because I cannot possibly imagine a situation in which any English politician would stand in front of a group of Irish people and bang on about his Englishness any later than that date.
Why should it be from around 1800? >>
Because I cannot possibly imagine a situation in which any English politician would stand in front of a group of Irish people and bang on about his Englishness any later than that date.
Hehe Irish funny joke.
Do you still have something aganst the English? Oh does the continue status of Northern Ireland under the British crown has something to do with it?
Do you still have something aganst the English? Oh does the continue status of Northern Ireland under the British crown has something to do with it?
"Do you still have something aganst the English? Oh does the continue status of Northern Ireland under the British crown has something to do with it?"
You obviously don't understand the Irish. We spend more time having a go at each other than any other nationality. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. Just a bitta craic. You will not succeed in drawing politics into this infantile discussion whatever that discussion was. In future use your spell check. I thought I was bad.
You obviously don't understand the Irish. We spend more time having a go at each other than any other nationality. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. Just a bitta craic. You will not succeed in drawing politics into this infantile discussion whatever that discussion was. In future use your spell check. I thought I was bad.
Irish Guy should like these.
An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?" The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, "Here, lemme try that." So he goes over to the Irishman and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!" The Irishman only replies, "Oh, is that so now?" So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends. When the 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, "Well, now, I gotta try that!" So he walks over to the Irishman ans says, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!"
And the Irishman replies, "Aye, that's what your friends were sayin."
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''
An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?" The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, "Here, lemme try that." So he goes over to the Irishman and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!" The Irishman only replies, "Oh, is that so now?" So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends. When the 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, "Well, now, I gotta try that!" So he walks over to the Irishman ans says, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!"
And the Irishman replies, "Aye, that's what your friends were sayin."
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''
"Because I cannot possibly imagine a situation in which any English politician would stand in front of a group of Irish people and bang on about his Englishness any later than that date. "
I would have done - whilst eating a bag of potato crisps.
I would have done - whilst eating a bag of potato crisps.